You Never Even Call Me By My Name

Chuck and my brother in law, Gary, cleaned out our basement this weekend to get rid of a bunch of junk that we've been hoarding for way too long now. They did a great job and I cannot even believe how much crap they were able to actually get rid of. It was an unsupervised job so really I have no idea exactly what they threw out, which does make me a bit nervous. I'm really trying not to dwell on it.

While they were down in the basement, they came across my old love letters from past boyfriends. Oh my. There was some funny stuff in there. When your sixth grade boyfriend professes his undying love to you, now that's just classic. Part of me is praying none of those boyfriends kept any of MY letters. I can only imagine.

However, Chuck and Gary decided to read a few of those without my knowledge, which is fine, but I always like to be able to defend myself in these type of situations. Chuck was concerned about a couple though and even brought one upstairs. As soon as I saw what it was, I quickly yanked it away from him. As I sat down to read it myself, Chuck seemed a little bothered and he mentioned that he needed to talk to me about that particular letter. And not in a good way.

I started reading it and groaned most of the way through it. It was from a boyfriend, Randy, that I had in middle school and it was particularly gooey. All about how much he looooved me and how I had made him a better person, yada, yada. We all know what was really on this boy's mind. As I'm reading it though, I wasn't getting what the issue was. I mean, yeah, it's another guy but Chuck's not really the type to be too concerned with some random boy from middle school. Then I got to end of the page. Randy signed it as "Brandy", which was my nickname for him. Chuck didn't know that. Chuck thought "Brandy" was a girl!! Chuck thought I was a middle school lesbian!

I laughed at him for quite a while but he was seriously concerned (and not in a good way, like I would have thought) that there was a part of my life that I had not ever told him about. Of course while he was looking through that old box of letters, he came across some letters from a boy named Aaron, except he spells his name "E-h-r-e-n". So that didn't help matters.

The one bright spot of the day was Gary, though. He promised me that if I had been a lesbian in middle school that he wouldn't judge me. I can always count on him.