Monday, April 24, 2006

Quick Note

-leaving for Savannah Saturday
-working my butt off since I'll be out all next week
-hella busy
-will be back after trip with pictures and stories (unless something really interesting happens before then (don't count on it))
-i promise it will be a lot more interesting than this

Tuesday, April 18, 2006


If you haven't noticed before, I have a bunch of blogs (and other websites) that I'm particularly fond of in the left sidebar. Dooce, Miss Doxie, and Amalah round out my top 3 favorites. However, a friend recently recommended a blog that I've been reading and it is just hysterical. It's called The Amazing Adventures of Overshare. It's written by a woman who has this coworker, who she calls "Overshare", that gives way too much information about her personal life. If you get a chance, you should check it out. Start here**. October is the beginning, so you have to scroll all the way down to the bottom but it really is some entertaining stuff. Hell, check out all these blogs. You'll soon learn how I REALLY spend my workday.

**For my technically challenged friends, if you click the underlined text in yellow-green, it will take you to the website. *smooch*

Friday, April 14, 2006

Don't let the pained expressions fool you. They loved every second.

So what mothers in their right minds would dress their sons alike and force them to sit on the lap of a huge white rabbit for more than 5 seconds? AND expect them to smile? AND sit still? AND not smack the other child sitting in said lap? AND not dirty their outfits that they are expected to wear 2 more times in the upcoming week?

Oh, right. That would be me and my sister, Mandy.


Monday, April 10, 2006

Friday, April 07, 2006

Please meet my tongue, "Abby Normal".

I went to visit my dentist yesterday and he told me something interesting about myself that I didn't previously know. My tongue is a freak. I've been living my entire life without a care, as if I didn't have a freakish tongue. I feel like such a sham. Today, I am coming out of the tongue closet however. I HAVE A GEOGRAPHIC TONGUE! There I said it. Before you recoil in terror, let me please state that it is not contagious. So feel free to be near my tongue. It is however, fairly rare as it is present in only about 3% of the population.

Geographic tongue is basically...ok, you know how YOUR tongue is covered in small bumps? Mine is too but mine fall off sometimes. I said they FALL OFF! Not while I'm in public or anything, like ya know, I've never had to apologize for my tongue bumps falling onto the floor to a coworker or anything. I'm never aware that it's happening, just occasionally I have these bald spots on my tongue that's sensitive to hot, cold, spicy, and taunting. It's called "geographic tongue" because it kind of looks like a map. I would post a picture but I just can't seem to find one that doesn't make me want to throw up. Tongues are by nature, a little gross.

So there ya have it. I have a geographic tongue. So, next time you see my tongue, please remember, no taunting. He's sensitive.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

That's t-u-r-d, as in "Turd Ferguson".

anonymous friend: I've been burgled.

me: What? Someone steal your stapler?

anonymous friend: No. T-U-R-D burgled**!

me: *laughing at friend* Ohhh, that sucks. By who?

anonymous friend: Dr. T!

me: *laughing harder*

anonymous friend: Dr. F wants to put a mailslot in the bathroom door!

me: Niiiiice.

me: *thinking to self* That might actually save us some time.

Turd Burglar
(noun) One who attempts to speak with someone else or lingers directly outside the bathroom door for too long while that person is using the bathroom. Example:As I was trying to use the restroom, I was turd burgled by Jennifer who wanted to know what time it was.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Tonight on Cops...

Saturday evening my friends are all hanging out at the home of Kyle, Kent, and Stuart getting psyched about their exciting night out with me they had planned for the evening, when out of nowhere this guy slams his car into a tree in their front yard! The police quickly come chasing after him, arrest him (I guess he had just been involved in a shooting), and start questioning everyone. Stuart just happened to be the only one that witnessed it so he had to stay for further questioning but they let the rest of our friends go. Turns out that the Cops crew was with them and Stuart is going to even be on an upcoming episode!!!


Yeah, it is unbelievable because it's not true. April Fools!! What? Not funny? Yeah, I didn't think so either after I found out that it was all a joke. Of course I didn't find out that it was all a "joke" until after I had told 5 or 6 people at the bar.

My friends are bastards. All of 'em.